After his graduation from college, the son of a Spanish lawyer was considering his future. He went to his father and asked if he might be given a desk in the corner from which he could observe his father’s activities and be introduced to his father’s clients as a clerk. His observations would help him decide whether or not to become a lawyer. His father thought this was a great idea and immediately helped to set it up.
The first client the next morning was a tenant farmer — a rough-hewn man with calloused hands who was dressed in workman’s clothing. He said,
“Mr. Lawyer, I work for the Gonzales farm on the east side of town. For many years I have tended their crops and animals, including some cows. I have raised the cows, fed them and looked after them. And I was always given the understanding and the belief that I was the owner of these cows. Now Mr. Gonzales has died and his son has inherited the farm. He believes that since the cows were raised on his land and ate his hay, the cows are his. In short, we are in dispute over who owns the cows.”
The lawyer said, “Thank you. I have heard enough. I will take your case. DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!”
The next client to come in, a young and well-dressed young man, was obviously a landowner. He said, “My name is Gonzales and I own a farm on the east side of town. We have a tenant farmer who has worked for my family for many years, tending crops and the animals, including some cows. I believe the cows belong to me because they were raised on my land and were fed my hay. But the tenant farmer believes they are his because he raised them and cared for them. In short, we are in dispute over who owns the cows.”
The lawyer said, “Thank you. I have heard enough. I will take your case. DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!”
After the client left, the lawyer’s son could not help but express his concern. “Father, I know very little about the law, but it seems we have a very serious problem concerning these cows.”
“DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!” the lawyer said. “The cows will be ours!”
joke 2
A woman goes to her doctor and says, "Doctor, my husband has developed a penchant for anal sex. So I came to you for advice."
"Ok, let's see...does it hurt you?"
"Hmmmm .. a little."
"Do you like it?"
"Hmmm ..... well, yes."
"Then, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't do it. If you take care about not getting pregnant."
"Getting pregnant? I didn't know you could get pregnant in that way."
"Of course you can. Where do you think all lawyers come from?"
joke 3
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
A: Senator.
Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.
Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
A: Taller
Q: What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.